How to Be Both

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of death and gender discrimination. 

George allows a leak in the ceiling of her loft bedroom to go unchecked in the hope that the damage will eventually destroy the structure of the house and open her room up to the stars. This symbolizes the harmful and self-destructive extent of her grief, as her desire to stargaze is linked to George’s refusal to watch a meteor shower with her mother shortly before the latter’s death. It also links to Francescho’s desire to be “roofless” and without grief or memory during the Ritual of Mnemosyne. George hides the leak from her father despite his work in the roofing industry, showing her veiled resentment for his failure to cope with his own grief. That she shows the leak to H, who is immediately appreciative and supportive in defiance of conventional wisdom, shows the deep connection between the two girls.

When George finally confesses to her father that there’s a leak, it symbolizes her progress through the stages of grief and her gradual development of healthy coping mechanisms. By allowing her father into her private space to fix the problem, she shows a reawakened willingness to reach out and connect with the people around her as well as a measure of understanding and forgiveness for her father.